Memories

I can't begin to count the moments I have had in the past twelve years where I have had a strong yearning for my grandparent's farm. Many mornings I lie in bed with my eyes closed for a little longer simply because in my mind I am laying in a big comfy bed in grandma's great big farmhouse. It's as if I know my grandmother will burst through the door at any moment if I just keep my eyes shut a few more seconds. To this day when I catch a wiff of a cornfield somewhere, the smell always takes me back and I'm sitting on the big bales of hay in the chicken coup playing with lady bugs, or running through the cornfield to get to the pond, or sitting on the swingset watching the sqirrels and the birds. I've had dreams of this place at least once a week for over twelve years, and I think it's because I know deep down I will never have these experiences again for as long as I live.
Now I find myself having similar dreams about our home in Chesterton! How silly is that? Last night I dreamt that it was springtime at the Lakeshore and the kids and I were riding our bikes on the bike trails, stopping to look at all of the different flowers and strange bugs, (which is exactly what we were doing the week before we left). We rode our bikes until we reached the beach and made sand castles...then we waded in the water and rode home. So this morning when I woke up I imagined Mike and I were laying in our bed in our townhouse in Chesterton and everything was glorious! Until I heard the noise outside and it snapped me back into reality.... Don't get me wrong, I like the town we live in...but there was just something about Chesterton, and the lake, and the beach.
I do these kinds of things a lot, I will dream about something that I yearn for but that I know I will never have or know again and it can be a little depressing! (I even do it with food....I crave red indian soft serve ice cream from the Litchfield tasty freeze almost every day!)
I still have dreams that my grandmother is alive and she passed away twelve years ago. Now my grandfather has had to sell their farm and I guess that's why I'm being so sappy....a part of my childhood is gone. I'd give anything for just one more day of my childhood back to spend with my grandmother on that farm, even just to sit in her lap and feel her arms around me. The thought of never feeling that again is overwhelming and when I think about it sometimes I can't breathe...maybe that's why God gives me these dreams? So that I can feel her with me again?

I've survived!!!

As of approximately 20 minutes ago, I am officially finished with my second quarter...and miraculously I am still breathing! Things have been great up until this past week when I was on my death bed and trying to study all at the same time. I still feel pretty bad, but at least I am in an upright position now. Yesterday I took my dosage final and I have no idea what was on it...hopefully it was something I knew how to do! All I really remember is showing up at the school, and then driving home. Today was Law & Ethics and then I just finished my psychology final online. I must say....I don't think I aced either of today's tests, but I do know that I passed!

What a major relief, I'm so thankful for a husband who takes care of me. He even cleaned toilets! That's a real man! :)

I've had to close my other web pages down, and my dear friend Jaime has left us...so I don't think I have many visitors these days (most of my visitors came from Myspace or from Jaime's blog)...but I'm still having fun writing about nothing!

Horrible Timing

I think the last time I had the flu I was 13 years old and in the seventh grade. I never ever get sick! I had a sinus infection about 5 years ago, and I have suffered from migraines in the past....but as far as serious illness goes I seem to never catch anything that puts me in bed for 2 days straight. So I find it to be very 'convenient' that I have the flu now.....when I have finals at the end of this week. Not even really the end of the week, but tomorrow and Thursday! I have been so sick that I can barely move! My husband had to do everything for me last night, and all I could do is lay in bed and feel like I was dying. Of course, it was pretty chaotic because dad doesn't stick with our routine, he's kind of a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants type of guy...but he did a good job!
My temp got up to 102.3, and I can't even remember the last time I had a fever...what an odd feeling! I was cold and hot all at the same time. I will be okay to go and take my finals tomorrow, but I have missed the last two review days for both of my classes, and I have no idea what to focus on in my studies.
Braeden was really sick over the weekend and since I am a worry wart, I slept in his bed with him Saturday night until his fever broke and my husband warned me that I would end up sick...but I didn't listen! Next time I will sleep on the floor or on the top bunk!
Please pray for us, we have to get rid of the sickness around here. The kids bring things home from school and apparently our immune systems aren't what we thought they were. We need some healing, in Jesus' name!